Gayle’s mind blowing thoughts ;)

Managed to fight the cold off for the last week, but it has finally got me :(.  Darn.

Took Hunter out with me all day saturday.  Amber had to work, kim slept, D & C went camping with scouts.  So it was just H and I.  We went shopping.  I asked him what he would like to do.  We went to a couple of thrift stores then he asked to go for lunch at the play place. 

LOL, I bought a coat rack on wheels, got him to 'help' me wheel it out to the car.  On the way he asked me where I was goign to put it.  I replied in the trunk.  He looked puzzled and said it won't fit. LOL.

I hate blasting.  I do like that they warn us, cuz then I can go to the window and watch which I find way better than sitting at me desk with stressed anticipation.

doh.  I asked for a cordless keyboard and mouse at work.  Got them.  Love them. But the damn mouse decides to take breaks and not work from time to time. :P. Forcing me to plug in my corded mouse.  Damn lazy thing.

It just pisses me off that my childhood was not normal.  I wasn't allowed to be a child.  I had to be grown up from about age 5, with having to look after my brothers, make sure they were fed, shield them from what I thought was harm, take the brunt of the crap that went on.  Now and then it crops up and I get angry at it all.  Mind you it lessens as time passes, which is a good thing, right?

Today, life is fairly normal.  I listen to Kim talk about his childhood, and it makes me wish I had some of those happy memories.  It seems they have always had a very strong family bond.  It amazes me how accepting  his family is. They 'want to' buy gifts for the boys.  They have always tried to buy gifts for all of us at christmas time.

Happy memories for me are very few and far in between.  I remember once I was at the library doing homework (we lived a half block from the libray).  When I left home the adults were about to play canasta.  I was working away at the library and I was wishing that mom would send one of me brothers to get me so that I could play canasta with them. Then blam, one of me brothers came to get me and I got to go home to play canasta.  I had to have been about 11 or 12.  I felt so happy and important.

I remember sunday nights when I was in about grade 5.  Because I was the oldest and only female, I got to take a bath by myself first.  I loved the bath, then the warm flannel jammies, then the nice fresh clean sheets. I remember the feeling of clean. Was nice.

I remmber a dark place and finding shiny's.  I mentioned this once to mom and she said there used to be an abandoned building not far from where we lived that she took us to during the day to search for coins on the ground.  Apparently the local bums used to crash here and loose change would fall out of their pockets.

Like I said very few.

really, WTF is normal?  I want to know.  Where the fuck is normal?  Tell me god damn it. I really really want to know what is normal?

I think I could handle normal.  Come on Give me some freaken normal, go ahead I dare ya!

Yep we have been stressed.  Should have known that when I got the attack of IBS.  Been pretty stressful since then.  Having year end coming up, too many things to think of.

One night I couldn't sleep, last friday, I stayed up all night then didnt' go to sleep until 10 the next morning.  Took Kim by surprise. Was a blabbering idiot by the time he got home.  But we talked and got things ironed out somewhat. All is on the up and up now.

OI.  Damn they have been blasting here once a day since Wednesday.  OMG, what a freaky ness that is.  Today was much bigger.  Now they is going to be blasting at least 2 times a day M-F for the next 4 week. I don't think I can take that for the next weeks to come.

Gets me all jittery.

I swear.  I feel bad for asking people to do things for me.  Yet if it was someone asking me, I most likely would not hesitate.  Especially when it involves ........ Screw em any way you can.

But come off it. Where the f... am I goign to find a lucid 82-85 year old that remembers all that is needed and have them write a letter etc.  And, to top it all off, if I dont' do this asap, chances are there will be no one left of that age who would remember this shit.

GGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRR

I knew it seemed too easy.  Yet I was hopeful.

Here I have been sitting back and wiating for news from Ottawa.  WFN membership clerk gave them a call on Tuesday, left a message for them to call back.  I ended up talking to her and discovered that my documents that were sent in September still were not scanned into their system.  She went to go see where they were in the scheme of things and intened to call me back.

Well she called back and said that the documents I sent were no good as the people who signed were not of the age to be aware of who my mom or her father was.

BLAH.

So, now it's back to finding someone to sign who was born before 1927, as they want these people to be no less that 16 years older than Mom.  They then have to sign a letter saying exactly how they came into the knowledge.  Who told them, etc.

DOH.  How the heck am I going to find people that are 82 fricken years old with enough wits about them to sign a piece of paper that says so and so is mom's biological father?

BASTARDS!